We've all gotten them. Those gifts that make you cringe on the inside, but that you "Oh so love" in the face of your relatives, coworkers, neighbors... In honor of these *ahem* unique presents, I have compiled a list (in order from bad to terribad) of the worst gifts of Christmas past (and, unfortunately, future.)
1. Fruitcake. Oh fru-it cake, oh fru-it cake, are we even supposed to eat you? Really, look it up. No one knows.
2. Matching sweaters- for you and your entire family. Picture time!
3. A hermit crab- No, not even for your neighborhood biology professor. It has no personality. It can pinch. People eat crabs.
4. The nonexchangeable gift- Because, honestly, how many of those gifts do you really keep?
5. The empty card- Unless it's attached to a gift, a card should be home to some dead presidents. (Now, please exclude this one if it's a homemade card from your grandchild, you greedy babyboomers you.)
6. The What is it? Gift- which you have to pretend to know exactly what is and and how you've been dying to get one. Yeah. Right.
7. Anything used for cleaning- Especially to a woman, this just says, "Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich. Now!" Um yeah, how about never?
8. Socks, underwear, etc- Most definitely including the kind adorned with the cartoon characters of your youth and given to you in front of your new boyfriend. Hot.
9. Clothing two sizes too big- Just buy a scale, why don't ya?
and the inevitable...
10. The Regift- (to the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear?) "Didn't I give this last last year??"